Melancholia
by Sechskies
Summary: Gray/Lucy. And he hates it when Natsu is around, because then, Lucy speeds up everything — words and blushes and every.fucking.thing.


_Okay, I know I should be working on "**Chaos Theory**" and "**Apple & Cinnamon**". Iknow_Iknow_Iknow, folks, so please don't remind me. I just had to do this because I'm such a "_great_" writer __—_ right, **Kring**? xD

So this is a response to her challenge, in which I should produce "a depressing piece about one-sided love in a way that it is written so unforgivingly wrong _(because I'm such an OCD Grammar Nazi, according to the bitch), _yet still manages to make sense most lyrically_"__. And if that's not nosebleed-hard enough, I'd have to include ALL these **prompts **(a simple wish, honesty is cruelty, reality sucks, what are pretty girls made of?, wrong story), **AND** finish it by V-Day!  
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_Oh, **Kring**, it is SO _on_! =P  
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_**Standard disclaimers apply.  
Rated T for Gray's crude language.  
Warning: **Lots of broken phrases and jumbled, incoherent sentence fragments ahead. **(Fellow) Grammar Nazis, stay back or read at your own risk**!**  
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**Melancholia  
By: Sechskies**

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(_He was a simple man who only wanted one thing._)

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Sometimes, Gray wants to punch Natsu, knock him so hard it'll put him to sleep until who-knows-when, or strap him to a moving train going far, far away, or freeze him with ice as thick as his head, or... or_ something — _just to keep him from going near Lucy ever again. Because whenever Natsu is around, Lucy speeds everything up, words_and_blushes_and_justaboutevery_damn_thing, and Gray likes her so very much more when she doesn't, when her words come out clearer and more pronounced, when she's not all flustered like a schoolgirl with a fucking crush so obvious it hurts.

Yet, he never does anything to Natsu (he _can't_, he _won't_, he _shouldn't_), because after all, they're _best friends_, despite how they behave. He doesn't say anything either (he _can't_, he _won't_, he _shouldn't_), simply because he knows better. Natsu and Lucy belong together, always have, always will. He's not an idiot to deny that _fact_; he sees it, acknowledges it, accepts it with as much pride as he can muster.

And even if it kills him, he will never _ever_ ever destroy something so painfully _right_ with something so irrevocably unkind like 'honesty'.

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But Gray really just wants to forget it all, all of Natsu and Lucy, and Natsu_and_Lucy, and Lucy_and_Natsu—

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Except then, Natsu shows up and Lucy doesn't race anything, and Gray feels a jolt inside him akin to panic and alarm. He looks into her eyes, searching, reading those ever expressive chocolate orbs — and finds something _wrong_. And after Natsu leaves, all dense and clueless and blissfully ignorant, Lucy goes completely silent, so quiet even Gray is growing scared, so he reaches for her, pulls her to his chest like he's seen Natsu do (_he's not jealous; nonono, he's _not), and envelops her into a gentle, almost tentative hug.

For a moment, Lucy stiffens at the sudden contact — being in Gray's arms feels so unfamiliar, so different from Natsu's. But it is soft and warm and inviting, like hot cocoa on a rainy day, and it's so, so hard to _not_ give in when you're _this _tired and you're blinking back those stupid, stubborn tears, and the pain is too much, _it's too much_.

So she holds on for dear life, shuddering, sobbing things into his neck, yet he doesn't hear any of them — he should have, but he couldn't. Because his heart is pounding past his ears from where her lips are brushing against his skin and _goddammit, she fits so perfectly in his arms_, then he curses himself for thinking it, curses the gods for making him fall _this_ hard, only to deny him his prize, and tries not to hold on too long.

Reality is cruel, he knows; he knows it too fucking well. After this is over, Lucy will return to Natsu, and the idiot will welcome her back with cheers and laughter and promises of tomorrow.

And Gray will die a little once again.

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—but what's so new about that?

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(_A carefree existence, simple and clean._)

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But then, Lucy sighs, shifting her position in his arms, and Gray quickly goes rigid when he feels that _holy crap, she's leaning further on him and her lips are burning the skin on his neck and _his mind is suddenly blank, but _please stop, please stop, stop, stop_.

"Lucy?"

And she merely smiles at him through her tears, then pulls away slowly (hesitantly), just like he hoped she would.

"I'm sorry." she utters, this pretty girl he can't help but adore (_and _love_, deeper and deeper and deeper_). She's so damn pretty, it seems that she's spun out of sugar — a candy girl who he simply cannot devour, his own sweet, sweet torture. "I just..."

So Gray tries to step back.

"I want to forget..."

Only this time, he's not strong enough.

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(_Nothing more, nothing else, nothing less._)

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Gray knows this isn't permanent, because reality is just that cruel and Lucy will always, _always _belong with Natsu. Eventually, perhaps tomorrow or even the next minute or so, he'll wake up from this dream to live out the rest of his nightmare.

But he'll take what he can get from this fractured tale of hearts.

So he holds Lucy again, closer and tighter.

So at least, he can forget Natsu too.

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(_Was that too much to ask for?_)

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(..._It was._)

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**owari.**

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**History:  
**02.14.13 ~ First published. Another w00t for V-day~!

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_And that's how it's done. _

_**What do you guys think? Did it... make any **_**sense**_**?** Personally, I think the story was just all over the place, but it's the best I could come up with at such a short notice (Imma get you for this, **Kring**!). D:  
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_Anyway, I feel I owe you all an apology for my lack of updates. "Real life happened" is an overused excuse already, but it's the truth and I'm sure you all can relate. In case you don't know, I own probably one of the busiest online shops in our country, and I do almost everything on my own — processing orders, issuing receipts, packing, shipping both nationwide and worldwide, attending to queries, updating buyers, designing the website, product template, marketing collateral (tarpaulins, business cards, flyers), etc. I also regularly attend conventions (mostly anime, which was where I met Joy, better known as **Hachibukai** *waves*) and bazaars to showcase my items. These usually last for 2-5 days, but the preparation beforehand takes a lot of time, and the inventory after every event is TORTURE. Then, there's the accommodation of resellers and distributors ranging from humble online shops like mine to major establishments. To top it all off, I attend functions by Multiply as one of their pioneer sellers, entertain blog interviewers and make time for media features. _

_So, you see, I'm always pressed for time doing business with all these people. And when I'm not working, I'm either snoring away my exhaustion, or just plain sick. You'd be surprised how much my health and body have suffered just by sewing Usamimi headbands. I'm like a manga-ka with a deadline __**—**_ only, I sew ribbons and make origami jewelry and mold resin charms. xD  


_Wow, that's long...  
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_I'm sorry for rambling, people. I didn't mean to, but I just wanted to let you all in on what my "real life" has been about since my last update. **For what it's worth, I'm still writing — just not anymore as often as I'd like to.** As of now, the 4th chapter of "**Chaos Theory**" is about 10% complete, while the 7th for "**Apple & Cinnamon**" is at 95%. Please do wait a little while longer, okay? Perfection takes time, after all. And patience is always a virtue~ ^^_

_One last thing before I go, please do add my **Twitter** account, **p0ringstaaar**. I'd love if we could be friends there. :)_

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_Oh, and as a nod to V-Day, I'd also like to share to you all that **The Boyfriend has proposed**! Woo-hoo~ There's no wedding date yet, but it's okay because we're in no way rushing it. :)) _

_Still... To think I was but a mere teenager when I made my account, and now, 9 years later, I'm here and engaged and reminiscing. _

_God, I'm ooooold. x(_


End file.
